What’s in a name?
April 26, 2009 at 8:53 pm (Jumbled Jabbering)
In a recent conversation with an acquaintance who is originally from Quebec, the topic of married names vs. maiden names came up.
You see, in Quebec, women keep their maiden name and hyphenate it with their husband’s name. They use this compound name socially, but legally, their name is made up of their maiden name only.
In Ontario, where I’m from, and here in the Yukon (and I believe the rest of Canada), women have the choice of keeping their maiden name or taking on the married name on their big day.
In our conversation she mentioned that this mentality in Quebec is a result of gender equality. This may be the belief, but I am left to wonder how on earth, when a woman doesn’t have the choice in which name she wishes to adopt upon marriage, it can be construed as equal.
In the past, it was due to the church’s influence that women took their husband’s name. Today, it’s the law that forces Quebec women to keep their maiden name. The pendulum has swung, but what’s the difference?
How can women in Quebec think they’re further ahead in terms of gender equality when, unlike the rest of Canada, they don’t have a choice in which name they will adopt if they marry. Actually, they do have a choice, except that changing their name incurs a cost. In the rest of Canada, there is no cost associated with either name. In one case I know in Ontario, it was the husband who took his wife’s name.
Fawn said,
April 26, 2009 at 9:15 pm
I know a man here in Yukon who hyphenated his name (as did his wife) when he got married. But the inequality really showed when it turned out his wife could change her name at no cost, but he had to pay. (And then, sadly, pay again when they got divorced.)
In Ontario, though, you’re name isn’t really “legally changed”, either. The terminology there is that a married woman gets to have an “assumed name”. I think the difference is that if you legally change your name, you have to replace your birth certificate, or some such nonsense.
Anyway, I see your point, and kudos to Ontario if the man can also take on a married name at no cost. I wonder if Yukon has changed its rules since my friend’s ordeal, especially now that same-sex marriages are legal?
Nice to see you back online!
Carole said,
April 26, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Fawn, my first marriage was in Ontario, and I changed my name to my first husband’s. I didn’t have to change my birth certificate, only all my other things like driver’s license and health card. I didn’t even change my SIN, though I later found out that I should have.
The law may have changed since then, but after my first marriage, my maiden name was dropped in all areas, legal and otherwise. I wasn’t aware that it’s considered “assumed;” you taught me one there. But it didn’t seem to change anything for me. It seems like a hassle in Quebec where some things are done using one name, but others using another.
Perhaps Ontario differentiates when a person changes their name for reasons other than marriage, thus the requirement to change the birth certificate. I’m not a legal expert though, so I can’t really say. Maybe this is also the reason why if I were to move to Quebec, I’d be required to use my maiden name for legal purposes.
In regards to the couple I mentioned in Ontario, I don’t know if the groom had to pay a fee to change his name. I guess my point was that there’s more freedom of choice in provinces and territories other than Quebec, which, to me, translates to more rights for women (considering my acquaintance’s argument). In light of your friend’s experience, though, I guess it doesn’t work both ways in the Yukon. Shame on us!
Carole said,
April 26, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Oh, and I was online all along, keeping up with everyone else’s blog.
Gen said,
April 27, 2009 at 7:28 am
My sister-in-law lives in Quebec and would love to take my brother’s name but it would cost her about $1000 to do so. They’ve been married 10 years and I know it’s still a sore point for her.
As for me, it took 2 years after I married to decide to take my husband’s last name. I didn’t like the fact that I would be the only one in our family with a different name. If we’re going to be on the same team, we should all be wearing the same uniform, is how I see it. However, I was a sad loosing my French name when I’m living in such an anglophone world.
Don't Bug Me! said,
April 27, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Well, my husband would have happily changed his surname to mine if I had wanted him to. Hyphenation wouldn’t work, since our surnames combined would just be too long. So, he kept his name and I kept mine. Seems like equality to me. As soon as one of the couple is told that they have to do something, then it is no longer equal. And that would bug me. Just like the fact that women have to chose whether they go by Miss, Mrs or Ms and men just go by Mr and never have to make kind of choice or statement. I got over that problem by getting a PhD so I can call myself Dr.
Carole said,
April 27, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Dr. DBM, good point about Miss, Ms, or Mrs.
Carole said,
April 27, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Gen, ditto about the French name. That’s why I told my husband that if we get pregnant, I’d like us to choose a French name for the kid.
Moon said,
April 30, 2009 at 1:21 pm
DBM never uses her ‘Dr’ tag, and that bugs me !
Aunty Kate said,
April 30, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Okay…we got married in the Yukon…I took my husbands’ name but I knew it wasn’t law and strictly traditional. I changed everything over except my SIN card. That was in “76…in ’92 I wanted to go back to my maiden name and the red tape was going to be horrendous. And I would have to pay to change some things…so here’s what happened. I got my Dr. Lic. switched because I had my SIN card. So I went to the bank for my own loan…you know get my own credit rating…well then I had to change the insurance…then came the bank accounts and the visa card and the next thing I knew I had to change everything so my ID cards would all match. So everything has been switched for over 15 yrs. and as far as I’m concerned were equal. That’s my story on names.
Lynne said,
May 3, 2009 at 10:56 am
My story: I got married and took my husbands last name by choice.
We are now divorced and I have chosen to keep my ex-husband’s last name because to me, frankly, it’s just a name. I have the same last name as my boys and I have found that I am less frowned upon when I deal with my boys school… and besides, I never really liked my maiden name anyways.
IF, that’s IF I ever get married again, I think I may just leave my name the way it is…less hassles with the redtape, and in my field of work, networking is extremely important. I’m getting known with this name and all my credentials are in this name.
What’s MORE important to me is that they say and spell my first name right…it’s Lynne with an “e” and not Lynn, Line or Linda!!!
Carole said,
May 3, 2009 at 10:58 am
Or Lin-Pin-tin!
Kim said,
April 17, 2010 at 3:47 pm
I got married in Ontario and I assumed my husband’s last name – this after much thought but because I want us to have the same last name and likewise for any children we may have. I remain very proud of my own (French) heritage and continue to celebrate it and will share it with my future children, however as another poster said, a family is a team and we should all wear the same uniform. My birth certificate remains with my birth name however my credit cards, banking, insurance, drivers license, health care card, SIN card, etc are in my married name. Well I just moved to Quebec this year and I’m told I have to use my birth name on all legal cards and documents! I have to get a Quebec drivers license and health card so those will have to be with my birth name. Now I’m really confused. Just because I moved to Quebec does that mean I also have to get a new credit card, SIN card, etc? And if not, then if I use one card with my married name and then need a photo ID (usually drivers license) to support that, it will be a different name and might be questioned. I’m incredibly confused how this will work. I respect the reason why this law was established, really I do. But in practice, considering many people like me move from elsewhere, it’s frustrating. I had not idea about this law until after I moved.
Maria said,
June 24, 2010 at 8:45 am
I think that the most important reason to keep your own name is to avoid any fraudulent use multiple names. Who’s to say you DIDN’T notify your bank about your new marriage! Who’s to say you DIDN’T notify your bank about your recent divorce and who’s to say you DIDN’t notify your bank about your new 2nd marriage. So haow many names are we at now???? How many bank accounts in how many names all belonging to the same person????? It’s much simpler to have 1 name and keep it. Just like in Europe. simple. and less indusive to fraudulent schemes.