Trip to the market brings unexpected surprise

While living in Toronto, it was very rare (and I mean rare) to meet someone you knew when going downtown. Once I bumped into a friend on a subway platform, and that in itself was a story to be told. We were both shocked at meeting each other.

In Whitehorse, it’s the other way around. Maybe that’s why I always feel so refreshed after Thursday’s trip to the Market. Today I met:

  • A friend and colleague I’ll be working with this year
  • My boss
  • A friend of the family
  • Parents of kids I’ll be teaching this year
  • 5 kids I’ll be teaching this year
  • Several acquaintances (4)
  • A couple of friends
  • And the biggest surprise: FAWN

We’ve never met face-to-face, and in an e-mail I sent this morning, I mentioned we should get together to meet for coffee, since we only live a short walk from each other. Her and Michael have posted pictures here and there of each other, and I immediately recognized her when I saw her, and let me tell you, she is very pregnant, very glowy (if that’s a word), and very gorgeous. Have you ever met someone whose eyes have two colours? I couldn’t help but to stare at her eyes. Don’t take this the wrong way, please, but I know beauty when I see it.

Nice to meet you Fawn!

Iditarod Musher’s Sauble Beach Romance

Looking at the most searched for terms that bring people to my blog, I tried to make up a title to see what would happen. I can’t imagine an Iditarod musher on Sauble Beach, but hey, ya never know! They do get winter, and as long as there’s snow (and dogs), there can be mushing, no?

I’m not sure I’d want to be on that beach come spring time. The little packages left behind would certainly make for an unpleasant day at the beach. But there are cleaning crews out every morning to pick up the previous day’s surprises, so again, anything’s possible, no?

Now, if I could only hook my friend up with a northern musher, then perhaps I could write a post about it. She’s the one with not one, but TWO cottages on Sauble Beach. Bitch!

Any takers?

Grandpa’s Old Fiddle

Growing up, special occasions were marked by family get-togethers, food, and best of all, good music. The one instrument’s sound that stands out in my mind is that of the fiddle. It was the main attraction and accompanied by accordion, guitar, or harmonica. My job was keeping time with a pair of old, scratched and tea-stained spoons taken out of the kitchen drawer. Trying to keep up with the ever-increasing speed of Orange Blossom Special or other favourites, my spoons would become a blur between my lap and open hand. I always joke that I learned to play the spoons before I could eat with one. When we visited both sides of the family, my grandpas were always ready, fiddle under chin and horsehair on strings.

I was only six when Grandpa J. passed away. My understanding of what was going on at the time was summed up at the wake when, looking at the open casket, I turned to my grandma and said, “This means I don’t have a Godfather anymore, right Grandma?” After everyone had gone, the old brown fiddle with its peeling finish was tucked away in its dusty black case on the top shelf of Grandma’s bedroom closet. I don’t know how many years it stayed there, but I secretly hoped that she was saving it for when I would be old enough to have it. I dreamed of some day learning to play it.

For many years, when spending time at Grandma’s house, she would ceremoniously place her little black cassette player right in the middle of the formica-topped kitchen table. With a smile on her face, she would press the “play” button with her crooked finger and gently hush me. When the recorded sound of Grandpa’s fiddle filled the air, she would close her eyes while her body started to sway to the sound of the music. She was transported back in time. A time when her legs were much younger, her joints were not swollen, and Grandpa was still around to play “une p’tite jigue” on his old fiddle. Sometimes she’d get right into it take my hand and spin me on the linoleum floor. Refusing to join her was not an option. I’d get a soft pinch here, a harder one there, until finally I would join in with her dancing.

With all this music in the family, there were always instruments to be found in our household. There was an old accordion with knobs held in place with elastics, my dad’s favourite, as well as a shiny chrome mouthpiece. These instruments were as sacred as the chalice and holy water in St-Anthony’s Church down the street; to my dismay, they were off-limits for my siblings and me. Yet, anytime I picked up an instrument, I always managed to play a little tune by ear, without any help. Yup, I was the musical one, but I always ended up singing since I could never be trusted holding more than a couple of spoons. How I wanted a fiddle of my own.

At one point, I don’t quite remember when, I learned that my cousin B. received the old fiddle. He was my grandparents’ Godchild, as I was, and in French Canadian Catholic families, Godparents are like an extra set of parents. His mother, my Grandmother’s twin, married an Englishman and never taught her children to speak French, but the traditions remained. On our birthday and at Christmas, we could always count on an extra-special gift from your Godparents. Even when my grandmother would introduce me to her friends, I wasn’t just her granddaughter – she always added that extra bit: “This is my Goddaughter, ma p’tite fiole, Carole.” As such, I felt special and reveled in the extra attention, but I was still disappointed about the old fiddle.

Though feeling selfish, I contained my disappointment until writing these words, as I still think about the fiddle on occasion. I wonder if B. has ever dusted it off to try to play it. I want to pick up the telephone and ask him what has become of it, but I fear the answer. Does he even still have it? You see, B. has never really settled down. He’s moved back and forth between relationships like a bow moves up and down its strings. He’s been unlucky that way I guess. Who knows if, with so many moves, the fiddle hasn’t gotten lost in the shuffle. On the other hand, perhaps he keeps the fiddle close to him as somewhat of an anchor in his tumultuous life, like a fiddler’s tapping foot that pulls the eye and keeps the beat as the notes escape and bounce recklessly around the room. Maybe the tapping foot is his, thanks to Grandpa’s old fiddle.

Where Home Is

St. Marys General Hospital

St. Mary's General Hospital

The children’s unit at St. Mary’s General Hospital is like any other. The playroom has a television on a shelf near the ceiling (why up so high?) and shelves are lined with more toys than Santa can fit in his sleigh. Alone in my room, I am given a crib instead of a regular bed. The metal on the crib is painted some khaki institutional colour: green, beige, or blue. I’m not especially happy to be here, but with my recent illness, I am told that I don’t have a choice, and besides, it’s only for a little while.

My grandmother had given me a doll as a gift, which I keep with me when I go to bed. It isn’t a Barbie-type doll; its body is larger, with some of its parts made of fabric. While I play with my doll, it slips out of my hands and I’m not fast enough. The doll ends up on the floor. I look around, and no one’s in sight that can come to her rescue. I stand up in my crib, carefully swinging one leg over the rail, and placing my toe on the bottom of it. Straddling the rail, I swing my other leg over and jump down onto the floor to rescue my fallen doll. As footsteps approach, I look up to find a nurse in a starched white uniform, hands on her hips, asking what on earth I’m up to. My pulse quickens and I can’t catch my breath as I try to explain. Quickly, I climb back over the rail and drop into my bed as she warns me not to try that again, or I’ll get a spanking.

I wasn’t doing anything wrong, was I? My parents were gone home, the nurses were busy, and I was alone. All I had was my doll, and the smell of my grandmother’s face make-up on its fabric. I could still see her wrinkled hands, swollen at the joints, handing it to me. Her face, the way it creased at the eyes when she smiled at me. My doll kept me sane between the prodding and poking of sharp needles and cold stethoscopes. I finally escaped those stark grey walls to finally be surrounded by my parents and sister.

The Outhouse

The Outhouse

For a time, my family lives in a small addition that had been built on the side of my grandmother’s farmhouse. There’s a large garden next to the house sprouting peas, carrots, potatoes. There’s a huge towering tree at the back of the garden, which will later become a favourite place to build a tree house. A wooden latch held in place with a rusty nail usually keeps the old creaky door of our place shut, and inside are two beds against one wall: one for my parents, the other for my sister and me. Two chairs sit neatly tucked under a tiny wooden table on the right, and straight ahead lies a kitchen smaller than a two-piece bathroom. In fact, that’s what it would eventually become after we moved out.

The toilet consists of an outhouse by day and a grey metal pail behind a small curtain by night. One evening, I groggily get up out of bed to use our “facilities.” My mother’s shrill voice resonates in my ears: “Be careful not to spill the pail!” Before I could barely finish calling back, some imaginary force tips over the bucket I’m sitting on – along with all of its contents – onto the rough wooden floor. My body tenses as I remain squatted, frozen, with wetness oozing around my stubby feet. My knuckles turn white as I keep my rumpled nightgown wrapped around my waist, fearing that the wetness will get at it as I hear my mother’s approaching footsteps. She doesn’t chastise me, but wets a cloth to clean my feet. The smell of disinfectant permeates the air as I sink deeper under the wool covers.

Our stay in that place was like the passing of a season. I didn’t know how we ended up in our next place, a small upstairs apartment. Early memories play tricks on the mind; it’s like trying to remember dreams. One minute you’re in one place, and the next, your surroundings are transformed and can be miles away, and the details aren’t always as clear as you’d like them to be. Anyway, somehow we ended up back up north, a four-hour drive on icy roads with nothing but jack pines on either side.

The new place has long outside stairs that lead to a large mudroom. It is scattered with a rainbow of coloured plastic toys and fuzzy animals. A thin metal door opens into a gleaming white kitchenette. Another doorway connects it to a slightly bigger living room, with barely enough room for the small sofa after the Christmas tree my father got from the bush is placed in one corner. On the opposite wall rests a small stand supporting a black and white television set with long metal rabbit ears extending to the ceiling. An upholstered chair sits in a corner, its metal feet scratching the hardwood floors beneath it. Lying on my stomach in my bed, I watch my father standing in front of the small mirror of the bathroom, turning the hot water faucet on and off as he shaves off the day’s stubble.

It’s Christmas Eve, and our home is bursting at the seams. I’m supposed to be asleep in my bed, waiting for Daddy to wake me for Midnight Mass, but through the noise and chatter of everyone filing in, I hear a distinct “Ho, ho, ho” coming from somewhere outside. My eyes pop open, and I can’t get up fast enough to greet Santa. I don’t know how many people come through our door, but it feels like an eternity as the jolly laugh gets louder. Standing just inside, I wave people through like a traffic cop, hurrying them forward with my hand so that I could get a glimpse. The moment is here, and a rush comes over me as I hear, once again, the jolly laugh. I dance from one foot to the other, rubbing my hands and craning my neck as far forward as my muscles will allow.

I’m usually happy to see my uncle. This time, however, he must have wondered why my shoulders dropped at the sight of him. After wishing me a Merry Christmas, I was whisked back to bed to await Midnight Mass, and the real jolly man in red.

I slip into my flannel peejays, feeling the softness and warmth on my skin. The pink and blue flowers on a white background make me feel dizzy if I stare at them too long. Eventually, I fall asleep, and the next thing I know I’m being shaken, “Get up Hunny, it’s time for Mass.” I jump out of bed and into my favourite dress and can’t help but to peek under the tree to see if maybe, just maybe, Santa might have passed through earlier than usual. This was Christmas, and this is our home.

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These are three of my earliest memories meshed together. I took a non-fiction creative writing class last year (my very first), and this was our first assignment. It was a challenge to find a common thread to three separate memories and put it all into one piece. This was the result. What is your earliest memory?

Moving to the Yukon

“Service à la clientèle, Carole à l’appareil, comment puis-je vous aider?” This was a daily refrain for five years of my life. Sitting at my desk in my little grey cubicle, headset on my ears, computer screen in front of me, I was surrounded by about fifty other people doing somewhat the same as me. The companies changed, but the verses remained.

This time, the grey walls of the cubicles were low enough that everyone could see the cityscape that surrounded us. Looking out my window from where I sat, I could see the drab flat roof-top of the mall just down the street, the one I would go to for my daily work-out routine after work. It was the same thing, day after day, of driving forty minutes, working nine-to-five, and another forty minute drive home.

My family was impressed with how far I had come. I grew up in Timmins, a small Northern Ontario mining town. Finding employment proved difficult due to my lack of skills and education. I was a high school dropout. I tried returning on three separate occasions, each time with the same result, even though I told everyone I wanted to become a teacher someday.

Whether you were out shopping at K-Mart, eating french fries at the London Café, or simply filling up at Sunny’s Gas Bar, you could hear broken French everywhere around you. Being bilingual wasn’t a big deal in Timmins. When I moved south to the big city of Toronto, however, I quickly realized that my language skills were an asset. Demand for French speakers was high, which put me at an advantage. I managed with what I was making working in that postage stamp-sized cubicle, but there was little opportunity to move forward.

For several months now, I was seeing someone, and I admired his sense of adventure. He worked as a consultant in car dealerships helping them get back on their feet. He would live in one place after another, helping companies in dire need of his services, but it was always a temporary gig. He announced, one day, that he had received an offer to work in Whitehorse, Yukon for a year, and asked me to come along.

When I was a child, my uncle lived in Whitehorse, and when he and my aunt would visit, they always talked about the Yukon. I remember a lapel pin I received as a gift. It was the Yukon’s coat of arms, and my aunt explained every little minute detail, down to the two sharp peaks representing Yukon’s beautiful mountains.

It didn’t take me long to pack whatever belongings I could fit into my little red Corolla. I sold some larger pieces of furniture, and simply gave the rest away. My car was packed with my life. I showed up for my last day of work, luggage corseted in the back and on the rooftop, ready to leave at 5pm. To make space for a gift-basket I received from my co-workers, I had to leave behind a couple of ceramic vases in the office. They still embellish a co-worker’s little grey cubicle almost six years later.

When five o’clock rolled around, I eased out of the underground parking garage, the yellow-striped gate moving up for me one last time. I drove past the brown brick mall up the street and the smoke-mirrored office building on the right. Concrete sidewalks pushed up against concrete buildings. People walked along going about their usual business: expecting mother pushing a blue baby stroller; a couple jogging toward nowhere in particular; a man smartly dressed in a business suit, briefcase in hand.

My life, at thirty-three, was going to change forever… I hoped for the better.

It was a long drive to the Yukon. The road led from the lush greenery of Ontario, across the endless fields and skies of the prairies, and through the snow-capped mountains of British Columbia. After finally reaching Mile Zero on the Alaska Highway we still had almost another 900 to go (or 1400km).

When we finally arrived in Whitehorse and unloaded the car, tears came to my eyes. The realization that I was the furthest I could be from home without leaving the country terrified me. I couldn’t just hop in the car and visit my family after a day’s drive, it would be more like a five-day road trip, one-way.

I gradually settled into the tiny furnished basement apartment across the river. I knew that my life would be forever changed, but I didn’t know if I would regret my decision. Different scenarios and questions came to mind. The sense of adventure of moving across the country had attracted me, but what would happen if I didn’t find a job? How hard would it be to make new friends and acquaintances?

I spent the free time I had driving around the Yukon to experience its beauty, but worry started hanging around like an unwelcome visitor. Four months and thirty-four résumés later, only two interviews were granted, and I was still without a job. There was no way around it; I simply couldn’t rely on my bilingualism anymore. I eventually found work as a teller, but the pay was low and supervisors treated us like high school kids.

One afternoon, I went up to the local college to see what some of my options might be. A dark blue sign with light blue lettering hanging from the ceiling caught my attention: “Yukon Native Teacher Education Program (YNTEP)”. Would they accept someone who was simply Métis, and not a full-status Native? What about the fact that I was a high school drop-out?

I turned into the narrow hallway and entered the office holding my breath. When I found out that I could apply into the program, I was elated. Determined to get started, I enrolled with a full course load in January in anticipation of getting into the program. In the fall I was accepted and was on my way to becoming a classroom teacher.

Less than a month into the fall term, my partner announced that he was offered work in Manitoba. Knowing the kind of work he does, I knew things would eventually come to this. We tried to keep things going despite living apart, but I still had almost four years of full-time studies ahead of me. Could a long-distance relationship last that long? During a holiday visit, I inadvertently discovered the answer to that question and eventually cut the ties with him.

Post-Christmas music was still warming Main Street speakers when I started having problems with my laptop. I e-mailed a former computer instructor to enlist his help and was grateful that he accepted. A while later, upon our second meeting for more help with my computer, I planned to ask him out for coffee and dessert. He was a soft-spoken guy, very tall with soft blue eyes. He was about my age and had a good sense of humour. I wanted to get to know him better.

It was -47°C that morning. I slipped on my huge Sorel boots and bright yellow winter coat – fashion is not an option at those temperatures – and managed to get the reluctant engine to start. The first few minutes of driving felt like I was on the worse pot-holed road you can imagine, the tires being frozen square solid. Nothing was going to stop me from going to school that day. There are no electrical outlets in the student parking lot, so I reverted to letting the engine run while doing my business inside the college.

While doing a few computer techie things on my computer, I mentally replayed the question I would ask him. Before I could manage to get the words out, HE invited ME out for coffee. The coffee turned into a dinner date, a relationship, and on summer solstice of last year, we exchanged vows on a friend’s wooden deck overlooking a valley and Cowley Lake in the Yukon.

Six months later, I completed my studies in the YNTEP program.

Now I look out my window, and I see mountains in the distance, pine trees and fireweed, and salmon-coloured skies. This fall, there will be little grey desks in a room filled with students. The alphabet will line the top of one wall, and in place of a telephone, there will be a new vase with fresh flowers on the corner of my desk.

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As all Yukoners know, a common question we ask each other is, “What brought YOU here?” and “What made you stay?” So tell me.

Barbecuing a black-out blueberry cake.

The number of power outages in the Yukon boggles the mind. If nothing else, they certainly make us aware of how much we rely on electricity. I had just finished pouring the batter on top of berries for an upside-down cake when we experienced a black-out in my area. Since I had just bragged on Kara’s blog, the banana bread baking goddess, about having baked a banana bread in a barbecue once, I decided I’d try it again with this cake:

Barbecued Cake

Barbecued Cake

Heat the BBQ on high for a few minutes. Then turn one side off, and reduce the other setting to medium. Place cake on upper level opposite the side that’s turned on for indirect heat.

Nicely done!

Nicely done!

Upside-Down Cake

Upside-Down Cake

This was supposed to be an upside-down blueberry cake, but I didn’t have enough blueberries, so I added strawberries to make up the rest. The cake was delicious.

Scrabble & Cake

Scrabble & Cake

We played a game of Scrabble (I won – yeah!), ate some cake, and the power returned. Here’s the recipe for anyone interested. It’s from a eighty-something woman I knew many years ago:

Blueberry Upside-Down Cake (or any other berry)

3/4 cups butter or margarine
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
2 cups fresh berries, washed (or frozen berries, drained & thawed)
2 teaspoons grated lemon rind
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 cups sifted flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
  1. Melt 1/4 cup of the butter in 9″x9″x2″ pan.
  2. Sprinkle with brown sugar.
  3. Mix berries with lemon rind; put in pan, distributing evenly.
  4. Cream rest of butter (1/2 cup) with granulated sugar, and beat until light. Add egg and beat well.
  5. Sift dry ingredients together.
  6. Add dry ingredients alternately with milk to butter/sugar mixture, beating until smooth.
  7. Spread on top of berries.
  8. Bake in 375° oven for 30 minutes. (I do the toothpick check.)
  9. Let stand 10 minutes, then turn out onto plate.

P.S. You can use more berries.

Dear Tammy

Dear Tammy,

I enjoy reading your column blog and need some advice. After having guests over for dinner and indulging in a wee bit of wine, I found myself wide awake, eyes popped open, the wide-eyed bushy-tailed kind, at 3am this morning. So, off I went to the living room sofa, book in hand, thinking I could read myself back to sleep.

On my way there, I spotted my laptop, quietly sleeping on the side table, looking so cute and all, I just had to accidentally wake it. You’re a mom, you know what it’s like. Big mistake!

After waking it out of its deep sleep, I noticed your comment on my blog and got curious. Off I went to read your blog and have been sitting here ever since laughing my brains out while slowly getting addicted to your column.

Help! It’s now 7am.

[Update: I've added Tammy to my blogroll: Average Mom]

Darth Vader’s Romanesque Ancestor

If you’re a fan of Star Wars, hurry on down to Annie Rhiannon’s blog, The Little Pinch of Salt. She writes a great story about her father who used to do artwork for album covers back in the ’70s. He recently re-discovered fame when a magazine article pointed to one album cover depicting a Roman soldier, which supposedly inspired Lucas’ Darth Vader.

The best part is that no one knew who the dressed up figure on the album was, so when he came across the article, he wrote to the magazine to tell them.

In the comments section, Rhiannon even reprints part of the letter her father sent which includes even more juicy details about the photograph.

Bears

These bear photos are for Moon & Mrs. M.:

Black Bear

Black Bear

Another Black Bear

Another Black Bear

Grizzly Bear

Grizzly Bear

Mom & Baby

Mom & Baby (photo courtesy of a friend)

Bear Attack

Bear Attack

This is my dog, Smidgen, after a walk a couple of winters ago. She was frolicking in the snow, as usual, and I was trying to capture her photo. Of course, she kept leaping out of the deep snow toward me to play.

Smidgen's Head

Smidgen's Head

She finally popped her head out of the snow and was distracted long enough for me to snap this one.

My Fave

My Fave

Finally, I get a good picture. I know it’s the wrong time of year to be posting these winter photos, but it’s cold enough to warrant it.

Landscaping – Part II

Here’s what I accomplished today on the other side of the walkway. I turned over the soil, added more topsoil, peat moss, and sheep manure in the hopes of revitalizing the two trees, then I put the fabric down and the bark in. In case you’re wondering, the wire mesh against the fence is to prevent our dog, Smidgen, from jumping over.

Today's Yard Work

Today's Yard Work

Here’s a view showing both sides of the walkway. You can see in both pictures a portion of decking that we still need to fix.

Both sides of the walkway

Both sides of the walkway

View coming from the gate

View coming in from the gate

Last year, we fixed some rotted boards on the walkway from the street to our door to make it safe and gave it a coat of finish. It looks like we’ll have to give it another coat again this year, in addition to fixing the rest of the decking. Some previous owner did a lot of experimenting in building this, and I love the diagonal lines and different levels.

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