Over the hill?

“Are you a sleeper?” Michael Kersterton asked this question in his column of the December 31st Globe and Mail, Should You Be Out? He was referring to how people chime in the New Year.

You see, this New Year’s Eve, I sat at home curled up next to my hubby watching episodes of 30 Rock, a nightly ritual of ours. I couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to do the countdown, so we went to bed and turned on the radio to hear the sketch comedy The Irrelevant Show where I just couldn’t keep up despite its hilarious description:

…You’ll hear the National Pronunciation Bee, which is much easier than the spelling bee, but just as dramatic. Plus a helpline for people who can’t stop imitating William Shatner and George Takei, and a relaxation cd that screams at you…

Needless to say, I went to sleep only to rouse for the last three numbers of the countdown, gave my hunny a quick NYE kiss, and was konked out before the end of Auld Lang Syne. A sign of hitting my 40th this past year?

That article I mentioned from The Globe?

Tonight, some Canadians will be sound asleep while others are out celebrating midnight and the start of a new year. When should you be ready to admit to middle age and join the sleepers? …

Blerg!

Tourtières or Pâtés à viande?

Traditions are especially important during the holiday season in my French-Canadian family, but not having relatives close by or children of my own, I needed to find a way to connect with my heritage this season. So, I decided to make tourtières.

People, including French-Canadians, have different ideas of what a tourtière is. Is it the kind that looks like a pie filled with ground meat? Or does it have potatoes, carrots, and meat covered with a thick crust?

The answer to those questions depends on where you’re from. If you’re of the  Saguenay-Lac-Saint-Jean region in Québec, the former is a pâté à viande and the latter a tourtière. Everywhere else in French Canada, as far as I know, a tourtière is a meatpie, with nothing but ground meat (usually beef, pork and/or veal), onions, salt and pepper, and maybe a couple of herbs. These are the meatpies I made yesterday. Here in the North, however, many substitute the beef for caribou or moose meat. I’m anxiously waiting for a friend of mine to drop off some moose meat.

I’ve only made tourtières a couple of times before, and each time I had the help of a seasoned cook. This time I was on my own. Of course I had to make the necessary phone calls to my mother and grandma to make sure I had things right.

Judging by fluffiness and flakiness of the small pastries* made with the leftover dough, I succeeded with my pie crusts; actually, I think it’s the best crust I’ve made yet. The meat mixture was also quite tasty, so I’m guessing that my tourtières will turn out to be good, but only at dinnertime tonight will I know for sure.

*When I’m done with pie crust pastry, I roll out the leftover dough, brush on some butter, and spread brown sugar, (you can add cinnamon and nuts if you like.) then roll it up, cut it up, and bake it. Nothing is wasted!

A trip down memory lane

As much as flying reduces the time needed to get somewhere, driving has so many advantages. You get to appreciate the scenery, and you can stop and explore little nooks and crannies.

For example, this summer was the second time I drove through Saskatchewan. Anyone who’s not from the prairies always describes them as flat with nothing to see (except maybe your dog running away for three days…old joke). Except, of course, for those living there,  Canadians in general do not have an appreciation for the prairies. I was one of them. This last drive has opened my eyes to the beauty of this part of our country.

It was very early in the morning when we drove through, and a layer of mist hung over the fields of bright yellow canola. Some fields had cattle lazily grazing with tails flicking. With the sun’s morning rays being filtered by the mist, the view was heavenly. At regular intervals along the road, ponds and marshes were nestled inside tall stands of trees.

Why didn’t I stop to take a photo? I don’t know. Maybe I was wrapped up in the beauty of it all. It was so peaceful.

When visiting family in Ontario, I don’t usually get to uncles, aunts, and cousins because they’re spread out. Driving through, this year, afforded me the opportunity to stop in and say hello.

One such stop was in Astorville (near North Bay) at my grandmother’s old farmhouse. She’s passed away now, but my uncle purchased the property and has been living there for some time.

Gauthier Farm

Gauthier Farm

Renovations on the old house have drastically changed the look of it, but some old parts on the inside are still recognizable: the large wooden beams in the original living room are now painted white; the upstairs, where my sister and I used to sleep during our traditional Easter visit, is left almost untouched; and the postage stamp-sized kitchenette-cum-bathroom is still there. Again, why didn’t I take pictures of the inside?

The Renovated House

The Renovated House

Memories came flooding back when I took a tour around the property. Dave and I had to make our own path through tall grasses to get to the old tree house from my childhood. The path is long gone, and I worried about poison ivy (or was it poison oak) that grew in and around the area when I was a kid. Here’s Dave, who stands 6′6″, in the grasses. They were as tall as I am.

Dave in the tall grasses

Dave in the tall grasses

I couldn’t miss the tree. There it stood like an old faithful friend, waiting for the return of little hands and feet searching for crevices to grab onto, waiting for the whispered secrets and squeaky laughs of children hiding up on the rugged platform, and ready and able to take in the pounding of nails into its hard frame to support the memories that would be built in and around it.

Old Faithful

Old Faithful: A couple of wooden boards are still visible

My sister, my uncle (who, incidentally, was my sister’s age), and I worked on that tree house a little bit each year. My uncle did the bulk of the work since it was in his backyard, while we were there only a few days each year. But how we loved to climb those crooked wooden rungs and sit up high overlooking surrounding fields. It was our own little nook.

While looking up at my childhood friend, my mind wandered back to a tumble I once had, and my right hand instantly reached for a small ridge on my left hand between the thumb and index finger. There’s still a scar there thirty-three years later. The details are fading, but kids being kids, my sister and I had had a spat, and I was now barred from the tree house. Ignoring her warnings not to come up, I stubbornly kept climbing the rungs until she gave me a hard push. Down I went with the wrong end of a rusty nail finding its way into my hand. All is long-forgiven now, and when my sister and I get together, we laugh ’til we cry telling stories from the old farm house.

Remains of old tree house 2-compr.

A rotting platform remains

Romance Foiled by Dog

Wedding Deck

Yesterday, summer solstice, was our second wedding anniversary, and I had one of the best days this summer yet. No, it has nothing to do with nooky, so get your mind out of the gutter. Dave and I spent the day walking together: downtown, around Long Lake, and had a picnic sitting on a log by the side of the lake. I’d like to be able to say it was romantic and all, except that Smidgen kept running into the lake for a swim, then come out and shake herself near us only to run back in. I was soaked and ended up smelling like a wet dog. What a mutt! I think I’ll leave her home next time.

Above is a picture of the friend’s deck where the ceremony took place. The view was spectacular, and the sun came out long enough to accommodate us. Oh, and notice the two bouquets my husband bought for me. Yes, he took care of the flowers. What a keeper!

Grandpa’s Old Fiddle

Growing up, special occasions were marked by family get-togethers, food, and best of all, good music. The one instrument’s sound that stands out in my mind is that of the fiddle. It was the main attraction and accompanied by accordion, guitar, or harmonica. My job was keeping time with a pair of old, scratched and tea-stained spoons taken out of the kitchen drawer. Trying to keep up with the ever-increasing speed of Orange Blossom Special or other favourites, my spoons would become a blur between my lap and open hand. I always joke that I learned to play the spoons before I could eat with one. When we visited both sides of the family, my grandpas were always ready, fiddle under chin and horsehair on strings.

I was only six when Grandpa J. passed away. My understanding of what was going on at the time was summed up at the wake when, looking at the open casket, I turned to my grandma and said, “This means I don’t have a Godfather anymore, right Grandma?” After everyone had gone, the old brown fiddle with its peeling finish was tucked away in its dusty black case on the top shelf of Grandma’s bedroom closet. I don’t know how many years it stayed there, but I secretly hoped that she was saving it for when I would be old enough to have it. I dreamed of some day learning to play it.

For many years, when spending time at Grandma’s house, she would ceremoniously place her little black cassette player right in the middle of the formica-topped kitchen table. With a smile on her face, she would press the “play” button with her crooked finger and gently hush me. When the recorded sound of Grandpa’s fiddle filled the air, she would close her eyes while her body started to sway to the sound of the music. She was transported back in time. A time when her legs were much younger, her joints were not swollen, and Grandpa was still around to play “une p’tite jigue” on his old fiddle. Sometimes she’d get right into it take my hand and spin me on the linoleum floor. Refusing to join her was not an option. I’d get a soft pinch here, a harder one there, until finally I would join in with her dancing.

With all this music in the family, there were always instruments to be found in our household. There was an old accordion with knobs held in place with elastics, my dad’s favourite, as well as a shiny chrome mouthpiece. These instruments were as sacred as the chalice and holy water in St-Anthony’s Church down the street; to my dismay, they were off-limits for my siblings and me. Yet, anytime I picked up an instrument, I always managed to play a little tune by ear, without any help. Yup, I was the musical one, but I always ended up singing since I could never be trusted holding more than a couple of spoons. How I wanted a fiddle of my own.

At one point, I don’t quite remember when, I learned that my cousin B. received the old fiddle. He was my grandparents’ Godchild, as I was, and in French Canadian Catholic families, Godparents are like an extra set of parents. His mother, my Grandmother’s twin, married an Englishman and never taught her children to speak French, but the traditions remained. On our birthday and at Christmas, we could always count on an extra-special gift from your Godparents. Even when my grandmother would introduce me to her friends, I wasn’t just her granddaughter – she always added that extra bit: “This is my Goddaughter, ma p’tite fiole, Carole.” As such, I felt special and reveled in the extra attention, but I was still disappointed about the old fiddle.

Though feeling selfish, I contained my disappointment until writing these words, as I still think about the fiddle on occasion. I wonder if B. has ever dusted it off to try to play it. I want to pick up the telephone and ask him what has become of it, but I fear the answer. Does he even still have it? You see, B. has never really settled down. He’s moved back and forth between relationships like a bow moves up and down its strings. He’s been unlucky that way I guess. Who knows if, with so many moves, the fiddle hasn’t gotten lost in the shuffle. On the other hand, perhaps he keeps the fiddle close to him as somewhat of an anchor in his tumultuous life, like a fiddler’s tapping foot that pulls the eye and keeps the beat as the notes escape and bounce recklessly around the room. Maybe the tapping foot is his, thanks to Grandpa’s old fiddle.

Where Home Is

St. Marys General Hospital

St. Mary's General Hospital

The children’s unit at St. Mary’s General Hospital is like any other. The playroom has a television on a shelf near the ceiling (why up so high?) and shelves are lined with more toys than Santa can fit in his sleigh. Alone in my room, I am given a crib instead of a regular bed. The metal on the crib is painted some khaki institutional colour: green, beige, or blue. I’m not especially happy to be here, but with my recent illness, I am told that I don’t have a choice, and besides, it’s only for a little while.

My grandmother had given me a doll as a gift, which I keep with me when I go to bed. It isn’t a Barbie-type doll; its body is larger, with some of its parts made of fabric. While I play with my doll, it slips out of my hands and I’m not fast enough. The doll ends up on the floor. I look around, and no one’s in sight that can come to her rescue. I stand up in my crib, carefully swinging one leg over the rail, and placing my toe on the bottom of it. Straddling the rail, I swing my other leg over and jump down onto the floor to rescue my fallen doll. As footsteps approach, I look up to find a nurse in a starched white uniform, hands on her hips, asking what on earth I’m up to. My pulse quickens and I can’t catch my breath as I try to explain. Quickly, I climb back over the rail and drop into my bed as she warns me not to try that again, or I’ll get a spanking.

I wasn’t doing anything wrong, was I? My parents were gone home, the nurses were busy, and I was alone. All I had was my doll, and the smell of my grandmother’s face make-up on its fabric. I could still see her wrinkled hands, swollen at the joints, handing it to me. Her face, the way it creased at the eyes when she smiled at me. My doll kept me sane between the prodding and poking of sharp needles and cold stethoscopes. I finally escaped those stark grey walls to finally be surrounded by my parents and sister.

The Outhouse

The Outhouse

For a time, my family lives in a small addition that had been built on the side of my grandmother’s farmhouse. There’s a large garden next to the house sprouting peas, carrots, potatoes. There’s a huge towering tree at the back of the garden, which will later become a favourite place to build a tree house. A wooden latch held in place with a rusty nail usually keeps the old creaky door of our place shut, and inside are two beds against one wall: one for my parents, the other for my sister and me. Two chairs sit neatly tucked under a tiny wooden table on the right, and straight ahead lies a kitchen smaller than a two-piece bathroom. In fact, that’s what it would eventually become after we moved out.

The toilet consists of an outhouse by day and a grey metal pail behind a small curtain by night. One evening, I groggily get up out of bed to use our “facilities.” My mother’s shrill voice resonates in my ears: “Be careful not to spill the pail!” Before I could barely finish calling back, some imaginary force tips over the bucket I’m sitting on – along with all of its contents – onto the rough wooden floor. My body tenses as I remain squatted, frozen, with wetness oozing around my stubby feet. My knuckles turn white as I keep my rumpled nightgown wrapped around my waist, fearing that the wetness will get at it as I hear my mother’s approaching footsteps. She doesn’t chastise me, but wets a cloth to clean my feet. The smell of disinfectant permeates the air as I sink deeper under the wool covers.

Our stay in that place was like the passing of a season. I didn’t know how we ended up in our next place, a small upstairs apartment. Early memories play tricks on the mind; it’s like trying to remember dreams. One minute you’re in one place, and the next, your surroundings are transformed and can be miles away, and the details aren’t always as clear as you’d like them to be. Anyway, somehow we ended up back up north, a four-hour drive on icy roads with nothing but jack pines on either side.

The new place has long outside stairs that lead to a large mudroom. It is scattered with a rainbow of coloured plastic toys and fuzzy animals. A thin metal door opens into a gleaming white kitchenette. Another doorway connects it to a slightly bigger living room, with barely enough room for the small sofa after the Christmas tree my father got from the bush is placed in one corner. On the opposite wall rests a small stand supporting a black and white television set with long metal rabbit ears extending to the ceiling. An upholstered chair sits in a corner, its metal feet scratching the hardwood floors beneath it. Lying on my stomach in my bed, I watch my father standing in front of the small mirror of the bathroom, turning the hot water faucet on and off as he shaves off the day’s stubble.

It’s Christmas Eve, and our home is bursting at the seams. I’m supposed to be asleep in my bed, waiting for Daddy to wake me for Midnight Mass, but through the noise and chatter of everyone filing in, I hear a distinct “Ho, ho, ho” coming from somewhere outside. My eyes pop open, and I can’t get up fast enough to greet Santa. I don’t know how many people come through our door, but it feels like an eternity as the jolly laugh gets louder. Standing just inside, I wave people through like a traffic cop, hurrying them forward with my hand so that I could get a glimpse. The moment is here, and a rush comes over me as I hear, once again, the jolly laugh. I dance from one foot to the other, rubbing my hands and craning my neck as far forward as my muscles will allow.

I’m usually happy to see my uncle. This time, however, he must have wondered why my shoulders dropped at the sight of him. After wishing me a Merry Christmas, I was whisked back to bed to await Midnight Mass, and the real jolly man in red.

I slip into my flannel peejays, feeling the softness and warmth on my skin. The pink and blue flowers on a white background make me feel dizzy if I stare at them too long. Eventually, I fall asleep, and the next thing I know I’m being shaken, “Get up Hunny, it’s time for Mass.” I jump out of bed and into my favourite dress and can’t help but to peek under the tree to see if maybe, just maybe, Santa might have passed through earlier than usual. This was Christmas, and this is our home.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

These are three of my earliest memories meshed together. I took a non-fiction creative writing class last year (my very first), and this was our first assignment. It was a challenge to find a common thread to three separate memories and put it all into one piece. This was the result. What is your earliest memory?

Moving to the Yukon

“Service à la clientèle, Carole à l’appareil, comment puis-je vous aider?” This was a daily refrain for five years of my life. Sitting at my desk in my little grey cubicle, headset on my ears, computer screen in front of me, I was surrounded by about fifty other people doing somewhat the same as me. The companies changed, but the verses remained.

This time, the grey walls of the cubicles were low enough that everyone could see the cityscape that surrounded us. Looking out my window from where I sat, I could see the drab flat roof-top of the mall just down the street, the one I would go to for my daily work-out routine after work. It was the same thing, day after day, of driving forty minutes, working nine-to-five, and another forty minute drive home.

My family was impressed with how far I had come. I grew up in Timmins, a small Northern Ontario mining town. Finding employment proved difficult due to my lack of skills and education. I was a high school dropout. I tried returning on three separate occasions, each time with the same result, even though I told everyone I wanted to become a teacher someday.

Whether you were out shopping at K-Mart, eating french fries at the London Café, or simply filling up at Sunny’s Gas Bar, you could hear broken French everywhere around you. Being bilingual wasn’t a big deal in Timmins. When I moved south to the big city of Toronto, however, I quickly realized that my language skills were an asset. Demand for French speakers was high, which put me at an advantage. I managed with what I was making working in that postage stamp-sized cubicle, but there was little opportunity to move forward.

For several months now, I was seeing someone, and I admired his sense of adventure. He worked as a consultant in car dealerships helping them get back on their feet. He would live in one place after another, helping companies in dire need of his services, but it was always a temporary gig. He announced, one day, that he had received an offer to work in Whitehorse, Yukon for a year, and asked me to come along.

When I was a child, my uncle lived in Whitehorse, and when he and my aunt would visit, they always talked about the Yukon. I remember a lapel pin I received as a gift. It was the Yukon’s coat of arms, and my aunt explained every little minute detail, down to the two sharp peaks representing Yukon’s beautiful mountains.

It didn’t take me long to pack whatever belongings I could fit into my little red Corolla. I sold some larger pieces of furniture, and simply gave the rest away. My car was packed with my life. I showed up for my last day of work, luggage corseted in the back and on the rooftop, ready to leave at 5pm. To make space for a gift-basket I received from my co-workers, I had to leave behind a couple of ceramic vases in the office. They still embellish a co-worker’s little grey cubicle almost six years later.

When five o’clock rolled around, I eased out of the underground parking garage, the yellow-striped gate moving up for me one last time. I drove past the brown brick mall up the street and the smoke-mirrored office building on the right. Concrete sidewalks pushed up against concrete buildings. People walked along going about their usual business: expecting mother pushing a blue baby stroller; a couple jogging toward nowhere in particular; a man smartly dressed in a business suit, briefcase in hand.

My life, at thirty-three, was going to change forever… I hoped for the better.

It was a long drive to the Yukon. The road led from the lush greenery of Ontario, across the endless fields and skies of the prairies, and through the snow-capped mountains of British Columbia. After finally reaching Mile Zero on the Alaska Highway we still had almost another 900 to go (or 1400km).

When we finally arrived in Whitehorse and unloaded the car, tears came to my eyes. The realization that I was the furthest I could be from home without leaving the country terrified me. I couldn’t just hop in the car and visit my family after a day’s drive, it would be more like a five-day road trip, one-way.

I gradually settled into the tiny furnished basement apartment across the river. I knew that my life would be forever changed, but I didn’t know if I would regret my decision. Different scenarios and questions came to mind. The sense of adventure of moving across the country had attracted me, but what would happen if I didn’t find a job? How hard would it be to make new friends and acquaintances?

I spent the free time I had driving around the Yukon to experience its beauty, but worry started hanging around like an unwelcome visitor. Four months and thirty-four résumés later, only two interviews were granted, and I was still without a job. There was no way around it; I simply couldn’t rely on my bilingualism anymore. I eventually found work as a teller, but the pay was low and supervisors treated us like high school kids.

One afternoon, I went up to the local college to see what some of my options might be. A dark blue sign with light blue lettering hanging from the ceiling caught my attention: “Yukon Native Teacher Education Program (YNTEP)”. Would they accept someone who was simply Métis, and not a full-status Native? What about the fact that I was a high school drop-out?

I turned into the narrow hallway and entered the office holding my breath. When I found out that I could apply into the program, I was elated. Determined to get started, I enrolled with a full course load in January in anticipation of getting into the program. In the fall I was accepted and was on my way to becoming a classroom teacher.

Less than a month into the fall term, my partner announced that he was offered work in Manitoba. Knowing the kind of work he does, I knew things would eventually come to this. We tried to keep things going despite living apart, but I still had almost four years of full-time studies ahead of me. Could a long-distance relationship last that long? During a holiday visit, I inadvertently discovered the answer to that question and eventually cut the ties with him.

Post-Christmas music was still warming Main Street speakers when I started having problems with my laptop. I e-mailed a former computer instructor to enlist his help and was grateful that he accepted. A while later, upon our second meeting for more help with my computer, I planned to ask him out for coffee and dessert. He was a soft-spoken guy, very tall with soft blue eyes. He was about my age and had a good sense of humour. I wanted to get to know him better.

It was -47°C that morning. I slipped on my huge Sorel boots and bright yellow winter coat – fashion is not an option at those temperatures – and managed to get the reluctant engine to start. The first few minutes of driving felt like I was on the worse pot-holed road you can imagine, the tires being frozen square solid. Nothing was going to stop me from going to school that day. There are no electrical outlets in the student parking lot, so I reverted to letting the engine run while doing my business inside the college.

While doing a few computer techie things on my computer, I mentally replayed the question I would ask him. Before I could manage to get the words out, HE invited ME out for coffee. The coffee turned into a dinner date, a relationship, and on summer solstice of last year, we exchanged vows on a friend’s wooden deck overlooking a valley and Cowley Lake in the Yukon.

Six months later, I completed my studies in the YNTEP program.

Now I look out my window, and I see mountains in the distance, pine trees and fireweed, and salmon-coloured skies. This fall, there will be little grey desks in a room filled with students. The alphabet will line the top of one wall, and in place of a telephone, there will be a new vase with fresh flowers on the corner of my desk.

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As all Yukoners know, a common question we ask each other is, “What brought YOU here?” and “What made you stay?” So tell me.

She’s fine. Really.

Now that all is well with my 85 year-old grandmother, I can write about last week’s family emergency that came up. Dave and I were house-sitting out of town, but on Saturday he had to work. So, he came home, picked up a few things, and checked the telephone messages. There was a message from a family member, who shall remain nameless, and all I have to say is I’m glad the message was cushioned by Dave receiving it first, and then announcing it to me.

You see, when you have to tell someone what’s going on, a little word of advice: please start with the best news first. For example: “Just want to tell you that Grandma’s okay now, nothing to worry about, but there was a little incident on Friday.” Proceed to tell the story.

This, my friend, has the potential of averting another family emergency, that of another family member, more specifically me, from suffering heart failure. And credit to Dave, that’s what he did.

When I got home today, however, the original message was still on our machine (we couldn’t be reached by telephone), and this is what it said:

  1. There was an incident with Grandma on Friday. – [Hair stands on back of neck]
  2. I guess she passed out and Mom found her on the floor after getting out of the shower. – [Gasp...Heart races...Adrenalin rushes...Panic sets in]
  3. She was rushed to hospital. [This is really serious. Please tell me she's still alive]
  4. She was medevaced by helicopter to Sudbury [300km distance - OMG, No!]
  5. Doctor says she needs a pacemaker or she may never come home. [Sighs with relief...okay...serious enough, but she's still alive...all along I thought the worse...silly me.]
  6. Don’t try calling me, I’m on my way to Sudbury. [Still catching breath]
  7. You can call Uncle D., he knows the details.
  8. [And here's the clincher] Oh, by the way, don’t worry, she’s okay. She’s going to get her pacemaker, and then she’ll be as good as new. She’s fine. Really.

I’m not upset at all; I actually find this humourous. Not what happened to Grandma, of course, but how the person-who-shall-remain-nameless announced the news. Obviously, it wouldn’t have been so funny had I gotten to the message first. Once the heart starts to palpitate and the adrenaline starts to flow, it takes a lot to bring things back to normal.

If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her [person-who-shall-remain-nameless] dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. ~Linda Sunshine

Person-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless (Back Atchya!)

Person-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless (Back at ya!)

Man Escapes Death by Television Set

Sword of Damocles
We’re housesitting for friends until next Wednesday. There’s no sound to be heard out here, except for the odd grunts coming from the couple of pigs, or the clucks from the chickens. The sun usually shines through the huge window panes of this two-storey log home. I truly feel refreshed after a short stint out at the A’s. Today, the rain comes and goes, the clouds chasing away the rays that are trying to pierce through the grey. To pass the time, Dave and I are sitting at the breakfast nook playing a card game.

“Sequence!” he says, lips in a semi-smile. Without a word, I throw my ten of hearts and pick up a red chip to place on the board. We were both concentrating hard, when suddenly a loud crashing sound startled us out of our game. We both looked in the direction the sound came from, Then we looked at each other, “What was that?”

“I dunno.”

I check the guest room while he noses around in the bathroom.

“I guess it must’ve come from upstairs” he says.

I trail behind Dave as we make our way up the half-logs that make up the stairs and head for the master bedroom.

“Holy Crow! It’s a good thing I wasn’t still sleeping!” The ceiling television that had been hanging in the far corner of the bedroom had tumbled onto a pile of clothes and the corner of the bed, right on the pillow where Dave’s head would’ve been had he been sleeping. The TV set surely would’ve bashed his skull in.

After helping him move the unscathed television set to the other end of the room, we head downstairs to finish our card game. It doesn’t matter who wins. We’re both grateful he escaped the Television of Damocles.

Bathroom Renos

What started as the tearing off of wallpaper, ended up with tearing down a whole wall and stripping the bathroom from everything but the tub. I should’ve known; there’s no such thing as small jobs in the bathroom. Here are some pics for the folks back home and anyone else who’s interested:

This is our lovely wallpapered bathroom before starting our renovations. Notice the linen closet next to the miniature vanity.
It all started when I was tired of staring at the peeling flowered wallpaper when nature called (see above for said wallpaper).
I was horrified to discover an even more disgusting wallpaper underneath. And worse, this wallpaper was the equivalent of MACtac on panelling. It was not possible to remove it.
Plus, we decided to get rid of the horrid linoleum. Again, removing it revealed another layer of even more crazy 70’s linoleum; and finally, rotting wood underneath near the toilet and tub.
Here’s another glimpse of the wonderful design under the flowered wallpaper. As you can see, we decided to get rid of the old vanity along with the linen closet that was next to it. This will make room for a vanity with some countertop space.
We replaced the rotten particle board with plywood at the head of the tub. Also notice the absence of the wall that separated our bathroom from the office, as well as the faucets and shower head.I have to say Dave isn’t someone who ordinarily curses. Having to re-do the plumbing for the tub about three times, however, generated curse words I didn’t know existed. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but it really was a frustrating endeavour.
Here’s the new plywood to replace rotting floor under the toilet and near the vanity’s plumbing.
During this project, we learned everything there is to know about toilet flanges.
Dave crawled under the trailer to cut the old pipe and fit in a new piece and flange. It’s elevated to match the height of the ceramic tile that will be going in.
After replacing the old green-stripped panelling with paintable hardboard, a new tub surround was installed.
Hardboard wouldn’t have been our first choice, except that anything else would have been too thick for the toilet tank to fit back there. As it was, it sat against the old panelling. Actually moving the toilet was out of the question.
Here’s a picture of the wallboard, after we painted it. The colour doesn’t really come out on this photo, but it’s a very light buttery yellow, almost white. Also notice our new lighting fixture (brushed nickel). I love it!
Here you can see our beautiful cedar on the opposite wall, along with the brushed nickel tub faucets. You can also see where our new linen closet will be. We also used hardboard above the tub surround and that ceiling area. Now we have to install our new maple vanity with undermount sink. Oh, and did I mention it is maple. After that, we install the tile to highlight our new maple vanity, and voilà! I’ll have to post a picture of the finished bathroom once it’s done.

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